Disappointment
by BunniesOfDoom
Summary: With the upcoming competition, Yuuri's nerves get the better of him.


Written for an anon request on my sneezehq/it-hasalreadyhappened blog for Yuuri having a nightmare and wetting the bed. Set post-anime. Enjoy!

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Yuuri stares at the bed anxiously, his hands twisting together. "Try to get some sleep," Victor murmurs soothingly in his ear. Yuuri frowns and shakes his head.

"But-" Yuuri stutters out half a protest. How could he possibly sleep right now? His last couple of practices have been nothing short of disastrous, and the Four Continents Championship is next week. He can't possibly perform at the level that's expected of him. He's going to humiliate himself and bring shame upon Victor. It'll be like his first Grand Prix Final all over again!

Victor breaks him out of his worried thoughts. "You need to rest, love. Try for me?"

He's making that face again, the pleading one that Yuuri can never say no to. He nods reluctantly, changing into his pajamas and laying down next to Victor.

"Just relax, darling," Victor coos in his ear as he rubs gentle circles on his back, between his shoulder blades. "I have absolute faith in you."

His eyes stinging with grateful tears, Yuuri jerks his head in a tiny nod and closes his eyes. Victor continues to rub his back, and despite the thoughts swirling chaotically in his head and the crushing anxiety that threatens to drown him, he finds himself drifting off.

The music for his short program begins, and Yuuri panics: he can't remember any of the choreography! He attempts to fumble through the first few steps of Eros, but he can hear the audience laughing at him-it's louder than the music-and the jeers of the other skaters as they watch his pathetic performance.

You can do this! Yuuri tells himself, gearing up for a triple axel. He's gotten his rhythm back, he can still make up for lost time with his jumps. But his takeoff is clumsy, and upon landing he finds himself crashing into the ice hard enough to knock the wind out of him. When he finally gets his breathing back under control (and his courage back), Yuuri sits up and looks for Victor.

His heart stops when he sees his coach's face. The disappointment in his eyes is as clear as day, and as Yuuri watches, he opens his mouth to say something. The music has stopped, everything frozen in time as he waits to hear from Victor. He looks angry; Yuuri's heart sinks.

"Yuuri, wake up." The voice is Victor's, but it's so much softer and gentler than Yuuri had expected that he's taken aback.

Suddenly, he's opening his eyes (when did he close them), and to his immense relief, he's safe in his and Victor's bedroom. The competition hasn't happened yet, he didn't make a fool of himself on the ice. He breathes out a sigh of relief.

"Oh good, you're awake! You were having a bad dream, I think," Victor explains, gesturing to the blankets covering Yuuri's legs.

Yuuri nods, and looks down at his lap, confused-and then he notices the dampness of the sheets between his thighs. A hand flies to his mouth. He didn't!

"It's alright, love, you were having a nightmare," Victor tries to console him, but Yuuri is too busy hyperventilating with horror over the fact that he just wet the bed like a child.

Soon tears are rushing down his cheeks and his gasps have turned into noisy sobs. He hasn't had an accident like this in years!

Through it all, Victor clutches him to his chest, rubbing his back gently and stroking his hair, murmuring soothing words in Russian and Japanese. When Yuuri's sobs finally taper off, Victor wipes the tears off his face and kisses his forehead.

"I promise that I'm not mad at you, Yuuri. You were asleep, you couldn't control it." Giving Yuuri's shoulder another soothing pat, he continues. "Now let's get you cleaned up, da?"

The next hour and a half feel surreal to Yuuri. Victor doesn't scold him for making a mess, instead he helps Yuuri to the shower and fetches him new pajamas and changes out the sheets and remakes the bed. When Yuuri and the bed are both clean and freshly made up, they lay back down. It does take some coaxing him from Victor, but eventually they're both settled.

Victor spoons up behind Yuuri, wrapping his arms around his chest protectively. "My love," he murmurs into Yuuri's damp hair. "Please tell me what's bothering you."

Yuuri balks at telling Victor the truth, but Victor has been so wonderful about this whole thing; he owes him. Taking a deep breath to steal himself, Yuuri answers him in a mumble. "I'm terrified that I'm going to let you down."

There's a moment of silence, then Victor responds. "Oh, my Yuuri," he breathes. "I wish that you would understand that no matter what you do, you could never disappoint me. No matter what, know that I am always proud of you. You've come so far." He punctuates this declaration with a kiss to the top of Yuuri's head.

His heart feels lighter already. "Even if I flub all my jumps?" Yuuri asks, partially teasing, partly serious.

"Of course," Victor says instantly. "You could quit skating and I'd still be proud of you. Now, you need to get some rest. Don't worry, though, I'll be here to keep you safe from those bad dreams."

Yuuri smiles brightly and squeezes Victor's hands. Wrapped in warmth and comfort, he rests peacefully the rest of the night.

He's going to rock the championships. After all, he has the best coach.

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Thank you for reading! Please leave a review!


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